haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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