SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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