theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
