Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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