So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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