omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I'm drive I can fine osifer
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
