I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
