were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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