We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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