So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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