No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
