And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize