Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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