what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
You left your phone here
Wait...
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
