and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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