So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
