Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
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