My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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