1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
