Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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