Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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