I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
