I'm really into asian looking animals
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
