Hey man sorry I got all grabby
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
