was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
