We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
