You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Congratulations! We have a period
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
