So drunk its hurt
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Randomize
