Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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