So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
