i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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