i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
