Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Fuck appropriateness.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
