my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
