Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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