I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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