I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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