Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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