Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
my being single is dangerous.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
