Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize
