Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I skipped work to stalk him.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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