the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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