If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
