I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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