Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Randomize
