Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Randomize
