drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
love makes seman taste better
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
