3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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