I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
