bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
