You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I will pee on everything he values.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
