i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize