im drinking this country out of the recession.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Randomize
