it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
