That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
