..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Randomize
