Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Randomize
