Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
If I die, sorry about rent.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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