You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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