ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize