keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
