Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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