He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
and i looked up. we had an audience...
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Randomize
